so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
4 words: hood of his car
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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