No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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