He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
