Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
