We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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