ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
