Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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