So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
