Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
