It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
