this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
