Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
