jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
