Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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