So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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