Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
