tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
