i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize