is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize