Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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