Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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