you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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