I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my being single is dangerous.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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