Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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