Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
