Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My vagina is officially offended.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
