why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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