Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
