I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
