I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dear god my vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
