how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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