No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
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he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?