Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
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I want to be your penis for a week.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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