If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity