Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.