and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
