I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
