I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
