I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
