At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
