I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize