your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
