Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize