This girl is more easily done than said...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
