Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
