I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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