yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
