ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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