My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
