he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
