I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
