im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
