i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
