My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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