He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize