It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
