So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
