Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize