Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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