Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
