When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
