How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
