I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
