Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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