Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
