at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
