ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
