He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
