I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
